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GTFO my egl!
2nd-May-2012 01:12 pm (UTC)
I just saw that and lol'd heartily. Someone ought to cap it before its deleted.
What a creeper :/
2nd-May-2012 01:29 pm (UTC)
already gone.
2nd-May-2012 01:32 pm (UTC)
It doesn't need a cap I think, it was just text and the section I posted was all that there was. But yeah, it's gone.
2nd-May-2012 02:15 pm (UTC)
LOL he PMed me!

I commented on the post saying "You sound like a real catch. I bet you get ~loads~ of emails." & just now got a message saying "Thanks for your cynicism on the apparently impossible task of finding a lolita gf, so you can like the style and I can't? I find it irritating that I would never suppose to be rude to you jn any way and you decide it's perfectly acceptable to judge me!"

Was it just me or did any of the other commenters get messages too? And should I respond & see what happens?

EDIT: Also the guy's username is mattimeobris in case anyone wants to keep note of it for future reference.

Edited at 2012-05-02 02:16 pm (UTC)
2nd-May-2012 02:42 pm (UTC)
I replied. Wrote back "Good luck finding a girlfriend. You really need it."
3rd-May-2012 01:13 pm (UTC)
Yup, he pm'd me too. Replied & linked him to plentyoffish then blocked him. Here's a cap of what he sent me. Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Edited at 2012-05-03 01:14 pm (UTC)
3rd-May-2012 09:26 pm (UTC)
lol @ "There are no Lolita dating sites!!" well duh. Bawww! there is no where on the internet for me to adopt a lolita pet!

Actually that gives me a funny image: Adopt a lolita today! The sweet comes with a little twin stars blankie and her own deco litter box :D
3rd-May-2012 11:33 pm (UTC)
There actually is a lolita dating comm on lj, but it's for lesbians.
4th-May-2012 03:46 am (UTC)
You may wish to be careful about the way you word things. As someone who was once forced into sex slavery, and part of the person's attraction to me was my being a lolita, saying "adopt a lolita pet" is a bit triggering. Also, he said nothing about sex, just wanting a girlfriend. (Not defending him- he seemed pretty creepy to me as well.)
4th-May-2012 04:15 am (UTC)
Did not mean that at all, no deeper meaning intended. I didn't mention sex, and i didn't intend for that to be read into that statement, i was mearly pointing out that his search for a lolita girlfriend was very dehumanizing and it seemed like he just hoped to pick one up like a puppy at the pound.

I am very sorry that that happened to you and i hope it never happens again, also sorry that my statement was offensive.
2nd-May-2012 02:28 pm (UTC)
He's just posted again, I can't work out whether it's a good troll or an actual idiot.


Link maker isn't working my bad.
2nd-May-2012 02:34 pm (UTC)
Deleted so here's the cap:
Image Hosting
2nd-May-2012 02:49 pm (UTC)
I'd be scared if I were in Bristol.

There are so many other ways he could have worded this so that people would have helped him, or at least point him to an appropriate dating site. The way he decided to say it and the way he defended himself is super creepy.
2nd-May-2012 03:26 pm (UTC)
Wow that's interesting... just the last week there was a guy who registered on the swedish lolita forum and was the same... said he thought lolita girls was soooo cute and he wanted to meet someone to be friends or to be his girlfriend. While I myself don't really think it's that creepy, it's so awkward.... These guys have such strange notion of how you get a girlfriend. It's about FALLING IN LOVE godammit.
2nd-May-2012 03:46 pm (UTC)
I don't get why people jump right in with 'I want a ____ girlfriend!' and then think that people won't get skeeved out. It's dehumanising to think someone is after you just because you wear a certain kind of clothes, have a certain hair colour, or whatever else it is guys like that place the emphasis on. >_<;

They would do so much better if they just introduced themselves as someone who loves the style and wants to chat to other people who do too.
2nd-May-2012 04:57 pm (UTC)

I am more than my clothes, thank you.

Maybe they think that because a lot of men shy away from women in lolita we're going to jump the bones of the first guy who says "actually, I love lolita fashion"?
2nd-May-2012 08:01 pm (UTC)
Lots of lolitas do it too, though. :/ It's nowhere as threatening as when a man does it, but when girls do it, there's still a lot of weird objectification of men wearing lolita/EGA and a healthy smattering of orientalism as it usually morphs into the 'I want a Japanese boyfriend' attitude. Then when the girls can't get their fantasy Mana-stand-in boyfriend, they try to change their existing one lol.

tl;dr people who aren't taught self-awareness are stupid
3rd-May-2012 03:23 pm (UTC)
That IS true. I always found the "I want a PRINCE!" secrets really odd and a little disturbing. :( I mean, of course it's fine to want a boyfriend who is kind and charming, but at least the impression I've gotten from those secrets is that they are looking for PERFECT people, and people who will also dress up with them. It makes me feel sad, because I hate to think they're waiting around and denying themselves happiness in their search for unrealistic "perfection". :
5th-May-2012 09:28 am (UTC)
there is a difference between saying "I want a prince for a boyfriend!" or " I want a lolita for a girlfriend!", and going up to a group of "princes" or "lolita" and telling them "HEY! I WANT ONE OF YOU GUYS TO BE MY BOY/GIRL FRIEND! SEND ME AN EMAIL CUS' I THINK YOU ARE SOOO SEXY!"

Stating your preferences is fine, telling a group of people that you want to date one of them, ANY of them, simply because they fit within your preferences is creepy. It is creepy because preferences are only meant to be a starting point to being friendly with someone, which then leads to something more when both you and the other person have a lot in common and feel the same way. The only place I can think where this is the other way around is at speed dating and dating websites, which the EGL comm is not, just like any public place is not.

You don't go into a library screaming "HEY, I WANNA DATE ONE OF YOU HERE SEXY LIBRARIANS!" and you don't go onto EGL comm screaming "HEY, I WANNA DATE ONE OF YOU SEXY LOLITAS!".
2nd-May-2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
It seems really stupid that he just posted his email. Requesting PMs would be infinitely safer
2nd-May-2012 10:24 pm (UTC)
Im getting the impression that the email is possibly just made for this posting as "Lolita_lover" isn't really the email that you want to send things to your university/ job/ family members. At least i hope.

I am glad of the new postings in this comm that the crazies that have posted to EGL over the past few days have caused... I missed you fantastic and literate people.
2nd-May-2012 11:24 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean.

We should have a getoffegl friending meme or some shit.
3rd-May-2012 03:32 am (UTC)
We kinda should :)

I know that people within the comm tend to look at us as bullies, but from what ive seen we just favor quality control within the comm and for that i am very proud.
2nd-May-2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
I think we've broken a world record with this one:

Most women simultaneously creeped out in one go!
3rd-May-2012 08:58 am (UTC)
Holy crap. I am in Bristol and am very concerned that this guy (?) might make it to a meetup at some point >_>
4th-May-2012 03:51 am (UTC)
Do you have a private community that you all post meetup details on? Or do you use a private/members-only/locked group? That may be something to consider if you are really concerned.
20th-May-2012 07:57 pm (UTC)
I've just seen this. If he's the same guy he's been messaging all of the Bath girls and either saw us at a meet or saw the details of a meet and was saying he was upset that he couldn't make it. I think everything's locked down now but we're pretty freaked out by it :(
4th-May-2012 03:50 am (UTC)
Honestly he reminds me of a boy in my school who has some form of crush on me, simply because he thinks I look like a princess and he is slightly mentally challenged and lives in a sort of fantasy where he owns his own kingdom or something similar. Anyway, once, someone told me that the clothes I wear are Lolita, and he now runs about spouting "I want a lolita girlfriend!"

He seems to really need to word things better. Also, some research would have helped. EGL is not a dating site, and EGL is an international community, so posting in a community that includes Bristol and close areas would have likely spouted more results...
5th-May-2012 06:33 pm (UTC)
He just looks like a guy who discovered the fashion by mistake, and he doesn't know how to approach/meet lolitas. Maybe I have too much of a tendency to trust people, but I'm not sure he did that to creep anyone out. This said, lots of people are creepy when it comes to meet lolitas, so I understand your reactions guys ;____;
10th-May-2012 03:20 am (UTC)
Ew. Sounds fetishy to me. :/ Do not want.
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